It's October!

October used to be my least favorite month. I'm one of those weird people who doesn't like Halloween. October still isn't the best for me personally (we lost our second pregnancy in October 2012), but I'm finding some things about it that I can enjoy.

1. October is SIDS, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I hate the word awareness in this context. It kinda feels like attention grabby, but if I sit down and really think about it, that's what we're doing here. I'm bringing awareness to my friends and family, even strangers of this devastating event that happens to 1 in 4 women. And sometimes more that once. Somewhere along the way it became a taboo subject. Maybe it's because it's a such a deeply personal experience and not everyone wants to talk about it. Maybe it's because the mother hadn't announced her pregnancy before she lost so there wasn't a reason to talk about it. I respect all of these choices and any others. However, I'm not that woman. I'm speaking out and sharing my story because 1) It's all I can do for my babies at this point. They are in Heaven and all I can do to honor them is talk about them and 2) I want other women who want to talk about their experience feel comfortable doing so.

As a way to honor the babies and children gone too soon I'm participating in a world-wide photographic journey called Capture Your Grief. I semi participated in it last year. Like I said, last October was rough for us, having gone through our second loss. I'm committed to it again this year and will be blogging my way through my photographs as well.

2. October is NaBloWriMo or National Blog Writing Month. Again, this was something I started doing last year and it fell to the side while dealing with a loss. I'm committed to doing it again this year. 31 blog posts, one for each day of the month.

3. Next month is NaNoWriMo and while it's not November yet, October is the planning month. Look for posts about that this month as I 1) decide if I'm actually going to put myself through this again and 2) the planning process.

4. October begins the 2 month event I call "Eat and drink all the pumpkin flavored things!" I love pumpkin! And, in full disclosure, I've been eating and drinking pumpkin flavored things already starting last month but I didn't admit to it. But now I can wave my pumpkin spice latte and pumpkin bread in the air with pride (right before I gulp it down!)

So it's time I get back into this blog and I can't think of a better way to do than with Capture Your Grief and NoBloWriMo!

Getting ready for NaNo

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I participated last year (and won!) and I plan on doing it again this year.

I have 2 ideas for a book marinating in my mind right now. One of them I've mapped out. I will map the other one this weekend. I need just a little more time to think it over.

The goal for NaNo is to write 50.000 words in the 30 days of November. That comes out to 1,667 words each day. This year I've set a personal goal to finish by the day before Thanksgiving so I can relax and enjoy the holiday. Also, this year I will have family in town for four days. During those 4 days I probably won't get any writing in so I'm going to plan for those days to be out.

With those 4 days out plus Thanksgiving being early this year, this means I will have 17 days to write my book. 2,942 words for 17 days. Almost 3,000 for every day that I write. That's a lofty goal for me, but one that I will set nonetheless.

(NaBloWriMo Day 11)

Writing Prompt Wednesday - Don't shoot!

Version #1:

Yes, Doc, I know you think I should have a flu shot. You are not going to believe this but as I was driving home from work the other day I came across an accident scene. The police weren't around yet so I pulled over to see if I could help or at least offer my cell phone for someone to call for help. It appeared that the victims in both cars were going to be OK;  only a few bruises and scratches. Within minutes the police and ambulance arrived. Out of the ambulance jumps this very young-looking man. He's holding a few covered needles in his hand as he runs over to me, and gives me a shot of something. Ouch! I look up and yell "What was that?" He said that since I was in the car accident it was better if I had my tetanus shot. "I wasn't in the accident, you moron. I just pulled over to help." He immediately grabbed me by the arm and handed me off to his supervisor. He told his supervisor what happened and as the supervisor's eyes were getting wider and wider, the EMT ran away.

Someone came from behind me, picked me up, and threw me in the back of the ambulance. Before I could ask what was going on, the ambulance sped off. At the hospital, the doctor there said I had too much medication in my system and they were going to have to go in through my veins and suck some of it out. The doctor asked that while he had a needle in my vein did I want the flu shot now. I didn't see a reason why not so the doctor gave me the flu shot then and that's why I can't get a flu shot today.

Version #2:

Yes, Doc, I know you think I should have a flu shot. You are not going to believe this but I come from a long line of people who believe in old wive's tales and superstitions. Like, did you know that it's bad luck to broil chicken before noon? My great-great-great grandmother didn't know this and one day she decided to make an early lunch. She's had bad luck ever since. Or did you know that if you tie the laces on your right shoe first, then someone you love will suffer? My great-aunt didn't know this and when she went out for a jog and tied her right shoe first, her husband suffered from anxiety for the rest of his life.  But also, did you know that if you get medical assistance in any shape or form on a Thursday it's the same as walking under a ladder or breaking a mirror. And today is Thursday. I tried changing my appointment. I had them schedule me for a different day and then they called at the last minute and scheduled me for today. They insisted that you would only see me today, so I came in anyway so that I wouldn't get charged the $50 cancellation fee. And that is why I can't get a flu shot today.

I think I like the second one better.

(NaBloWriMo Day 3)

Gearing up!

October is in just a few days and I'm preparing for a busy month of blogging. In October, I'm participating in 2 events: NaBloWriMo (National Blog Writing Month) and Carly Marie's Capture Your Grief Project.

NaBloWriMo is just about writing a new blog post everyday in the month of October. Capture Your Grief is about taking a photo everyday to show your journey through infant and pregnancy loss. I could take the easy way out and combine the two projects, but posting a photo isn't really writing, so I've decided to do both simultaneously  Hence, why I'll be busy.

NaBloWriMo will be done and completed completely, unlike Capture Your Grief. I'm going to do as many as I can but some are just too difficult to get through. I'm also hoping this will help distract me from the worst holiday of the year: Halloween.

Just a little bit of Dylan Thomas

When I was in middle school and passage was brought to my attention. I was moved by it. I wrote it out and hung it up in my room. It continued to inspire me for years later and it helped me to discover a passion of mine - writing. After high school I moved out and lost the passage. Twelve years have one by since then and it was recently brought to my attention again. Someone asked for good book quotes and I immediately thought of this passage. I searched the interwebs for it and after some quick goat thinking - I found it. Below is only part of the entire passage but this excerpt is the part that I had hanging on my wall.

An excerpt from Notes on the Art of Poetry by Dylan Thomas

You want to know why and how I just began to write poetry, and which poets or kinds of poetry I was first moved and influenced by.

To answer the first part of this question, I should say I wanted to write poetry in the beginning because I had fallen in love with words. The first poems I knew were nursery rhymes, and before I could read them for myself I had come to love just the words of them, the words alone. What the words stood for, symbolized, or meant was of very secondary importance. What mattered was the sound of them as I heard them for the first time on the lips of the remote and incomprehensible grown-ups who seemed, for some reason, to be living in my world. And these words were, to me, as the notes of bells, the sounds of musical instruments, the noises of wind, sea, and rain, the rattle of milk carts, the clopping of hooves on cobbles, the fingering of branches on a window pane, might be to someone, deaf from birth, who has miraculously found his hearing. I did not know what the words said, overmuch, nor what happened to Jack and Jill and the Mother Goose rest of them; I cared of the shape of sound that their names, and the words cast on my eyes. I realize that I may be, as I think back all that way, romanticizing my reactions to the simple and beautiful words of those pure poems; but that is all I can honestly remember, however much time might have falsified my memory. I fell in love - that is the only expression that I can think of - at once, and am still at the mercy of words, though sometimes now, knowing a little of their behavior very well, I think I can influence them slightly and have even learned to beat them now and then, which they appear to enjoy. I tumbled for words at once. And, when I began to read the nursery rhymes for myself, and, later, to read other verses and ballads, I knew that I had discovered the most important things, to me, that could be ever.

There they were, seemingly lifeless, made only of black and white, but out of them, out of their own being came love and terror and pity and pain and wonder and all the other vague abstractions that make our ephemeral lives dangerous, great, and bearable.

NaNoWriMo 2011 - Finished

Well, I got 50k words which makes me a NaNo winner but my book is not finished. It's about 80% finished and now I just to sit down and type out the rest of it.

WINNER!

Participating in NaNo was a lot of fun and something I would do again. Looking forward to next November!

NaNoWriMo 2011 - Day 13 Update

Today is day 13 which means I at the halfway mark for the month in 2 days. My goal was to be at 22,000 words by the end of writing today and I did it. Just barely, but I did. Week Two is notorious for slumps, doubts, and no inspiration and I had my share of all three. I feel better now than I did earlier in the week. I did a lot of research this week and worked on my outline. Now I just want to write. Do you think my boss will let me take the week off so I can finish my book? No, I don't think so either.

My goal for this time next week is 34,000. I'm looking forward to hitting 25k - the infamous halfway point. I'll probably get there by Monday or Tuesday.

NaNoWriMo 2011 - Day 6 Update

Today is Day 6 which means I am one-fifth of the way there for the month. My word count has shot through this week. I was hoping to be at 10,000 words by Day 6 but instead I am close to 13,000. I couldn't be happier with my progress so far. I hope I can keep it up another week. Week One tends to be the easiest because everyone is excited and super motivated. I have a set writing schedule through the week and spent most of the weekend writing to keep up this pace.

In one week - by this time next Sunday - I hope to be at 22,000. I'll write another update half-way through the week. Keep checking back to keep tabs on my progress and if you don't hear from me email me, call me, send rockets to my apartment because it is quite possible I have passed out in NaNoLand.

NaNoWriMo Kick Off 2011!

NaNoWriMo has begun and hopefully it goes better for me than the failed warm-up prompts I had lined up. I was just so sick that I couldn't keep up.

After Day 1 though, things are looking up. My goal is to try to get to 2000 words each day. I met that goal today and could have gone on for more but I was feeling tired and thought it was best to rest so that I can make it through the rest of the 29 days.

I'm feeling confident and my head is swimming with ideas. It's been a long time since I've felt this creative.

Countdown to NaNo Warm-Up #4

Ten Creative Writing Prompts in Ten Days
Seven days until NaNo!

Ode to My Sweater

I love that you are black
And fir perfectly across my back

You warm me up when it is cold
I will even wear you when you are old

You wait on the back of my chair
Until there is a chill in the air

One time I lost you  my sweater
I didn't know how I would handle the weather

I looked for you wide and far
And found you in the backseat of my car



____________________________________________________________________________

Ok, let's be honest here. This one sucks. I don't like rhyming but I thought I would try it. It doesn't work for me. Also, I was supposed to post this last night and didn't Note to self: Finish blogging before you take cough syrup. Moving along....

Countdown to NaNo Warm-Up #3 -- The Near Year's Resolution

Ten Creative Writing Prompts in Ten Days
Eight days until NaNo!

The New Year's Resolution
"Happy New Year!" Alan leaned over to kiss his wife, Marla, before he took another sip of champagne. After another dance with Marla, they left the party and headed home.

"Hey, Al, what do you think your resolution is going to be this year?"
"A resolution? I haven't made a resolution since I was in third grade and my teacher made us write one. That was the same year I decided I hate resolutions."
"Hate resolutions? What?" She laughed. "It's just like making a goal. This year, my resolution to lose 20 pounds."
"Marla, honey. First of all, you can be more creative than that. And second, you don't need to lose even one pound."
Marla laughed again. "Oh Alan. Come on. Make a resolu-- make a goal with me."
"Ok. I resolve to not kill anyone this year."
"Not kill anyone?"
"Well, it should be pretty easy to accomplish."

Two weeks had gone by. Life was returning to normal after the usual holiday craziness. Marla had taken down all of the Christmas decorations. Alan was hiding the last of the cookies from his two children. He was busy at work and knew he would need a little sugar rush when he got home.

He kissed Marla good-bye and headed to work. Alan felt a little dizzy but shook it off and thought to himself that maybe he shouldn't have had that third cup of coffee.

All that he remembers of the rest of that morning was turning right onto Maple Ave and a sharp, hard pain in his head.

He woke up in the hospital. Marla was next to him with her head on the side of the bed. He softly stroked her hair. She sat up.

"Oh Alan!" She hugged him tight. It hurt but he didn't stop her. "I was so worried and scared."
"What happened?"
"You passed out while you were driving to work. You have a broken leg and arm and some cracked ribs. The doctors are running tests to find out the cause."
"Did I hit a tree?"
"No."
"A street sign then?"
"No." She looked away. She couldn't look him in the eyes.
"Marla. Tell me what happened after I passed out."
"You hit a pedestrian on the sidewalk. His name was John Milner. He was 79 years old and out for his daily walk."
"Was? Honey, what did I do?" He was shaking because he already knew the answer.
"He died yesterday."

Countdown to NaNo Warm-up #2 -- Punxsutawny Phil

Ten Creative Writing Prompts in Ten Days
Nine days until NaNo!

Punxsutawny Phil
Punxsutawny, PA


Punxsutawny Phil, born in Punxsutawny, Pennsylvania, died on February 2, 2012. He was 12 years old and died doing what he loved: predicting if there will be six more weeks of winter or six more weeks until spring.

He leaves behind a wife, Philippa, and 2 children, Philipina (age 2) and Philip Jr. (age 3).

Punxsutawny Phil was most known for his celebrity on Groundhog's Day. He predicted correctly 38% of the time but people still came from miles and got up before the sun rose to watch Phil make his year  prediction. He was also featured in a movie, he has Beanie Baby named after him, and was a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

He will be missed by many until next year when he is replaced with another groundhog.

Countdown to NaNo Warm-Up #1 -- The Cookie

Ten Creative Writing Prompts in 10 days!
10 days until NaNo!


The Cookie
I looked at the clock as I strolled into the office. 8:33. Eh, not too bad for leaving 10 minutes late. I walked past my mailbox. Empty. I love when my mailbox is empty. Less work to do before my second cup of coffee. I dropped my bags on my desk and chair and went to the kitchen in search of more coffee.

When I returned to my desk with a steaming cup of java in my hand, I saw something on my desk. Was this here earlier and I missed it or did someone just put it on my desk in the past 5 minutes?

I look at it closer. It's a cookie. I look around. No one is watching me. No one is walking around with a basket of cookies, delivering goodies to everyone in the office. I look at the cookie again. Chocolate chip. Mmm. It smells good. I wrap it up and put it in my desk drawer to save for after lunch. An hour later the cookie is calling to me. What's wrong with a mid-morning snack? Nothing. And I eat it.

The next morning I walk into the office to find another cookie on my desk. I asked my co-worker next to me if he got a cookie. He said no. I asked him if he saw you put this cookie on my desk. No again.

This continues for weeks. And months. I'm grateful for the cookie every morning and I've wondered if maybe I was being poisoned. I wasn't getting sick even after eating the cookies everyday for 3 months.

Then, one day, I come into the office and instead of the usual cookie sitting on my desk there is a deck of cards with a note attached. The note reads "Meet me tomorrow night at 7:30. 325 W. First Street. When you walk in, ask for Smith."

My curiosity won out over my apprehension. The day crept by. The next day was worse in anticipation for what was coming in just a few short hours.

Finally, I was standing in front of 325 W. First Street. The sign read Bengal's Bar. I looked at my watch. 7:33. I walked in and was greeted by an attractive woman who was dressed all in black. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a tight pony tail. "Hello" she said with a smile showing off her bright white teeth. "Can I have the name please?" "Yeah, umm. Smith?" I cleared my throat trying to read her reaction. "I mean, I think." I sounded as unsure as I felt.

"Great!" she said with another bright white smile. "Follow me please."

She led me through the dark bar. I looked straight ahead as I followed her, weaving through tables and chairs. She took to me to back of the room to a red door. "Right in here, sir. I'll send a server in to check on you in a minute." Bright white. She tossed her hair and strolled off. I stood there staring at the door for a minute. Why was I here? What was I doing? I checked my cell phone. No missed calls. No new messages. 7:36.

I opened the door.

12 days!

12 days until NaNoWriMo and I am super excited to get started. I finished a rough outline of my plot. Next I just need to iron out the wrinkles and develop my characters a little more and I am set.

Everything is top secret for now. After NaNo I will divulge the plot description.

Preparing for NaNo

15 days until NaNo starts and I am getting so excited. Yesterday I spent a lot of time on the forums and reading up on tips from writers who have won in the past. To win you just have to have your finished book and all 50,000 words submitted before midnight on November 30th. November is for writing. December is for editing.

I'm looking forward to reaching out and attending some write-ins in the area. A write-in is when a group of people meet up at a coffee shop or cafe and write together for a few hours.

I have 3 ideas for a novel that are swimming around in my head. I have 15 days to narrow it down. I started my character list and possible traits to go along with each idea. It's exciting to see how it's starting to come together and I'm even starting to grow an attachment to some of them.

I've also planned a writing schedule. I'm really looking forward to it and am thinking about starting it but work on smaller pieces until November.

It's going to be a long 15 days. I'm ready to start writing NOW!

I've decided to write a book.

November is National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo. Every year I think about participating and every year I end up not doing it. This year I've decided to try it. The goal is to write a novel that is 50,000 words starting Nov. 1 and ending on midnight Nov. 30. That's roughly 1,667 words a day. Seems doable when it's broken down by day.

I've always wanted to be a writer. I wrote a lot in high school and for the first year of college. After that I just sort of slowly stopped writing. I considered NaNoWriMo last year but I just felt like I was too busy starting a new job and planning my wedding. What's my excuse this year? I don't have one. So I guess I'm going to do this. At the end of it I can cross something off of my bucket list even if I never get published.

Well I have 3 weeks to dwell on it until I can begin writing. I'm excited and nervous and anxious all at the same time.