Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. However, I feel like this day is not for childless parents. It's for everyone else. I don't need day set aside once a year to "remember". I remember everyday. Every moment of every single day. October 15th is not for me. It's for my friends and family who don't understand. It's for the people in my life who look at me and wonder why I'm still sad, why I still cry, why I'm not over it yet, and why I can't move on.
Here I would like to share a previous blog post that explained a lot about what I go through. I admit that it was written during a time when I was angry. Please click here.
I was pregnant. I had a baby. I never got to hold my baby. I never got to look into their sweet eyes or kiss their soft cheeks. I'll never know if my baby would have grown up to be a teacher or an artist or the president of the United States. I should be cradling my one month old baby right now instead of watching HGTV and typing this blog post. I should be complaining about sleepless nights right now instead of complaining of a broken heart.
If you've never been through the loss of a child, you are blessed but you will also never understand the pain I live with everyday. No one deserves this pain, and yet 1 in 4 women have to endure it. Let's stop making pregnancy loss a taboo and shameful topic.
Click here to read my personal story of my miracle baby who turned into an angel.
If you have questions, please do not hesitate to ask me. I am very open about our loss and my only wish is that by reaching out and being honest about my life now is that more people will gain knowledge about my heartache and the heartache of 25% of women.
If you have suffered from a loss and would like to talk about it, please write your email address in the comments (I won't publish your email address) and I will contact you.